Running Out of Time

Timing is everything. Thats what they advertise. If you don't take advantage of the opportunity, then you will miss something important. Out here, timing is the difference between life and death. For both sides.

2 minutes, thats what I am talking about. 2 lousy minutes.

We were cruising through a downtown street, patrolling the southern sector with our Iraqi's. The streets are filthy, but there is a breeze in the air, and a slight cold one at that. The furious heat of the summer has abated, and the season that we all wished would come has finally arrived. We stop for 2 minutes, just to adjust our gear and get a grasp of the situation. As I sit in the turret, scanning for the usual round of snipers, car bombs, and troublemakers, I hear a volley of machinegun fire. Its pretty close, so I call out on the radio and we proceed to where we think its comming from. It turns out that the fight was along our area anyways, so it was pretty quick to find.

Rolling up, there is a Toyota van sitting on the road, windows blown out and smoke pouring from the engine. As we approach, the airs smells of carbon. We scan the area for people, but the street is empty. The cool breeze turns toward us, and we catch the sickening, sweet smell of burning flesh. Looking at the van from a distance, we see two bodies slumped over. Another round of bodies. Its going to be a long day.

We dismount quickly, in order to take stock and try to get the Police to come out and clean this up. We are on the ground for maybe 2 minutes total, still trying to get the a response from the radio, when more rounds go off, south and west of us. They are close, and we move as fast as we can with 50 pounds of gear on us. We head south trying to get through the traffic and debris on the street, hoping we can get to the scene before anything bad happens. We arrive at the scene, and there is a bunch of people screaming and crying in front of a building. They are dressed up, so this can't be good. We secure the street area, and go in.

Inside, there is complete chaos. Tables turned over, food everywhere, chairs strewn all over. At the far end of the room, 20 or 30 people are screaming and crying, the noise in the room sounds like the wind in a hurricane. Its so loud inside, almost deafening. They are crowded around two bodies lying on the floor. I move to inspect them quickly, and as I come to terms with what I am looking at, something pops into my head that, at the moment I didn't understand, but now, in reflection, its clear to me.

There are times in our lives that we cherish above all else. Times that define us as truly human. The birth of a child, graduating from school, getting our first paycheck, buying our first car. These moments make us part of a larger world, as we realize our independence, our sacrifice, and our ability to give of ourselves something to the world that is special, important, or significant. We live for those moments, we dream about them, and yet we take for granted that what we have is somehow normal in the course of our lives. We live to watch our children play, grow up, and enter society. We dream about a good job and everything that our money will provide. I think people that miss those opportunities have something missing in their lives. Maybe it makes you a little bit cynical, maybe a little less emotional. Some things in life should not be missed or taken for granted.

I was looking down at the bodies of a man and woman. She wore a white wedding gown, now bloodstained with crimson. He was dressed in a suit; clean cut, but with blood splattered over his face and shirt. They died getting married. They were still holding hands.

What I realized at that moment is that they have passed beyond reason. The militias here are going to do whatever they want, whenever they want, until we are gone, or everybody they hate is dead. There is no winning this war anymore, not in the sense that we understand it. We don't understand that these people hate for no other reason than hate is the only thing that these people know. Our lives are surrounded by those things that make us good, while these people are surrounded by nothing but destruction and persecution. Nothing good can come from it, but they don't seem to want anything else but to kill. I don't even know what it is they want anymore, except to rule by fear and terror.

What I came to understand that moment, is that I really don't feel anything. I can't remember anything good anymore. I can't recall what it was like to hug my children, hear them laugh. I can't remember my first paycheck, my first car. Am I losing my humanity? Am I becoming like them? I hope not, I pray that I am not, because there is so much more to live for than just watching a world gone mad.

Somebody is yelling at me, in broken English. I look at him quckly, and he is frantic. I call the interpreter, and through fits of crying and screaming, he tells me, "He is the father of the bride. He wants to know where you Americans were. They were here, just two minutes ago. How come you are not here when we need you? Why do you not come..?

I look at him, and have no answers. I just walk out of the room, into the sunlight. I feel the heat on my face, feel the sweat on my cheeks, and turn to the east. Somewhere down the street is the sounds of gunfire...

Side note. All told, there were 16 bodies found in the area this day. Most were killed within 10 minutes of forces being on scene. Most were Sunni, all except 1 were male. 10 of the bodies had signs of torture. 1 was about 15. We found 8 of them..

My list of things to do

Its September, and as the summer ends, we turn to thought of going home. These are my top twenty things to do when I get there.

1. I want to go to DISNEYLAND!!

2. I want to to go the mall and walk around, listen to people speaking English, and not have to wear full body armor.

3. I want to kiss my girlfriend, hold her hand, and listen to her speak.

4. I want to drive my truck and not have to dodge tires on the side of the road.

5. I want to eat a burger and not have to guess where the meat came from.

6. I want to sit on the couch and not get splinters, or have to balance myself so I don't fall over.

7. I want to use the internet and not have it take 20 minutes to download 1 photo.

8. I want to go to a 7-11 and get a fountain drink, and not have to worry about kind of water was used to make the ice.

9. I want to go to bed with the power on, and wake up with the power still on.

10. I want to take a shower and not be concerned with water going off, being cold, or being polluted.

11. I want to hug my children.

12. I want to talk on the phone and not have it cut out because I only have 1 minute left on my calling card.

13. I want it to not be 130 degrees.

14. I want to remember what it felt like to live in America, to be free, sing the National Anthem, and to love every moment of my life.

15. I want a Dodger Dog! (who doesn't want that??)

16. I want to see a black man, a white man, a Mexican, and a Jewish guy talking without having to have bodyguards, yelling about religious indifference, and calling each other infidels.

17. I want to see my grandparents.

18. I want to vote.

19. I want to go to Best Buy, Home Depot, Krispy Kreme, and Starbucks, and pizza hut all in the same day.

20. I want to somebody to tell me "Welcome Home.."

Slow News Day

I noticed an article in a news clipping. It was a bit dated, but I thought it was interesting and I would share my thoughts. Surprise!! Anyways, it was an article about this group called the Perfect Angelz, and they are this singing, dancing, and burlesque-ing group of ladies that entertained for the troops out here. The article wasn’t so much about the girls themselves, but about the women soldiers’ reaction to the group and their performance. To put it mildly, the women were very upset that the show, featuring scantily clad women parading in front of a bunch of men, was put on by the services. They seemed to think that the show was demeaning towards woman, biased, and insulting, that they should have to be subjected to this.

I looked up the Perfect Angelz on their multitude of websites, and I see from the photos that they have been in Iraq a couple of times, that they entertain at fairs, rallies, and other places, and that the show that they put on for the troops was one of many. While I understand the concern of the female soldiers and I sympathize with them, I have to ask why the military doesn’t put more shows together in the first place. Yes, we have had a few shows here, mostly from Toby Keith, and a few others, but as far as I can recall, I have not seen any big USO type shows, and nothing even resembling the type of morale boosting stuff I saw during the Persian Gulf War. I remember watching Jay Leno and a host of other comedians and entertainers come out to my base, keep us laughing for an hour or so, then sitting down to eat dinner with the guys before moving to another camp. We all know about past USO shows featuring Bob Hope, and anybody who would come, out. Not anymore.

So, has the commitment to American’s men in arms changed? Do we not get to see the likes of Maria Carey, Outkast, or anybody like that entertaining the troops? I would love to see a big show out here, not because we don’t know how American feels about the job we are doing, but because anything that reminds us of the lives we left behind, can’t be a bad thing. Moral is touch and go in a lot of places out here, and it only takes a little to get people re-energized and re-focused on what we are doing. It doesn’t matter if the show is small or big, it would just be nice to see. I would like to believe that politics has nothing to do with peoples support for the guys and girls on the ground. I would like to see people with smiles on their faces, and energy in their step. I hope the guys and girls out here get what they deserve.