Just browsing...

Jeez its hot.  It hasn't been this hot in a year of so, since I think when we moved into this condo.  I really wonder why we moved in here knowing that there wasn't A/C. 

Well we got ID thieved again. Sucks.  Good thing I surf the bank so often, I think the guy was taking the money while we were on the phone with the bank.  I am pretty sure it wasn't random either.  1 time, thats random, but 2 times, our card info is out there someplace.  I'm just lucky that we are broke, so there wasn't to much to take.  Maybe thats the upside of being on the downside of this economy. 

We actually had dinner at the table today.  Kinda liked that.  I miss that alot, I remember when I lived in Corona we used to have dinner at the table almost every night.  Its one of those things, I suppose, that you look back on as family time.  Well, we discussed doing it more often, but I suppose it all comes from just being in the house all at the same time.  That doesn't happen to often.  Kids are getting to old to fast.

Its way to hot to write, so I'll catch up later...

Whirlwinds Ahead!

These past few days have really been pretty amazing.

By now you know I got the job offer!  Its been pretty exciting, for sure.  I told my current work that I was, well, I said to my boss, "Hey, lets talk about that XXX position."  He says, well, I don't know where we are gonna put him, and we don't have to do anything thats XXX responsibility.  "Well"  I tell him, "that XXX is me." 

Well, he was a little suprised, but not shocked.  I suppose he knows that if the government that I work for isn't going to pay people well, then the government is going to lose people.  So, whats done is done.

So people have been comming by my area congratulating me all day, which is kind of wierd, because most days nobody talks to me unless I talk first.  Well, Im not a loner, I just work in the back area and there isn't a whole lot of people that come around anyways.

What do I say?  I have worked for the government for 20+ years, and I was thinking that I will have to wear dress shoes to work for the first time....

Hurray us!!

Well just when I thought it couldn't get better, it did.  God is good and his mercy endures forever.  It doesn't get more real life than this day.

We had a family meeting the night before, trying to decide if we should cancel the cable service.  Tough meeting because its more than just canceling cable.  It felt more like acknowledgement that we were not going to make ends meet anymore.  Before then, we always seemed kind of impervious to disaster.  No mattter what happened, we always seemed to get lucky or things turned our way.  Not this time.  We were finally slipping into the poor zone, and there was no way out.  We had cut through our savings, used all of our retirement funds, and the bills that we HAD to pay we had no more money for.  I forgot what it was like to look into the eyes of dispair, but if I had, I know I would have seen my reflection.

I had, earlier in the morning, stopped at an ATT store to pay the bill, and realized that if I paid the full bill, I wouldn't be able to pay the cable bill.  No money for allowance.  Groceries were going to be slim.  That really sucked, so I new it was going to be a bad day, seeing as it was only 9:30 in the morning.  So, I paid half the bill, and just decided to go home early. Why stay at work when you can't afford to be there.

I got home, closed the door, went to the kitchen when the doorbell rang.  Looked in the fridge.  Crap, no milk, and no money to buy it.  I though it was my Iphone 4 Case that I ordered 3 months ago and paid for then.  http://www.elementcase.com/  (awesome stuff)  .  Why do I even have this phone?  Its cracked and I can't afford to fix the glass.  The tires on the truck are bald and aren't going to last another month.  The electric bill is due, the IRS took too much money out of the bank, and there is still check out that people haven't cashed. 

Wonderful, it was a letter from FEDEX.   Has to be a motion or another subpoena from MCWEW.  Batting 1000 today.  I noticed it had a Lockheed Martin address.  Well, I figured I lost that job, they were just doing it in writing because they weren't going to waste the time to call.  So I opened it.  I thought, wow this is kinda thick for a rejection letter.  Well, thats not what it was.

Lets just say that God works in mysterious ways, and, just when you think you can't escape, he reminds you that all is not lost.  If you have faith, you will be rewarded.  Maybe it was his reminder that sometimes you have to be humbled to be humble.

I must thank my wife too, who gives me the strength to keep pushing for a better day.  Thanks love...

All things electronic...

OK I promised myself I would fix this site, so this weekend I will.  Pics?  Twitter feed?  I haven't figured it all out yet but Im sure it will work.  I thought about switching to Tumblr, but Im not a 20 something and I take crappy pictures. 

I just got served..again...  More court papers from "MCWEW".  This sucks.  I need to move to Canada, but then with the conversion rate, I would actually be giving her more. 

Nothing

I thing this company that I interviewed for is, well, I hate interviews.  I can probably count on both hands how many interviews I have gone on in my lifetime, since this is only the 5th Job I have ever had.  Still, I know why people hate interviews so much.  If they only asked the questions I would have asked, things would be good..

Sir, do you enjoy working?  Yes I do.

Do you like getting paid?  Yes I do.

Will you steal from us?  No I won't.

Your hired!

Simple stuff like that.  Get your answer before you walk out the door.  Yes, your good, we like you.  No, you suck, you should never have been allowed into the building.

OK if they don't call tomorrow, Im calling them.  Either way I don't want to go into another weekend trying to decide if I want to go to work on Monday..

No results...

Had the interview, but I'm kinda thinking it didn't go so well.  I started out strong, but the interview was on the phone so I found my mind drifting after about 20 minutes.  Its hard to focus on someones voice when you can't see their face, so I found myself playing with the radio stations alot.  Maybe they didn't notice.

I felt after the first couple of minutes that they were looking for somebody who studies Lean Six or something brainiac.  Example, Given a situation where you might not particularly agree with a decision, but understanding that as a service provider we are obligated to provide solutions, how would you work around the deficiencies to complete the project, and give specific examples of when and how you accomplished it.  Yeah, all that in one sentence.  At least it was more coherent than my answer.  I wanted to reach through the phone and choke the guy, yell in his face that I have never failed to complete a project.  But I think I came up with some lame ass answer and left it at that.  It didn't go much better after that. 

Its freaking only Wednesday??  I'll just continue to download tunes on Limewire.  Isn't that legal yet? 

Big day tomorrow?

Well it could be.  I got an interview with Lockheed Martin for a position as the Deputy Regional Manager for the Non-Government Services Contract.  Could be good, Im actually pretty excited.  When I first got the job as a contractor for the Navy, I worked with LM setting up their training for the same contract, so I know most of  the people and did alot of the work already.  Guess we will see how it goes. 

Things are still about as bad as they were a week or so ago.  Haven't heard from the courts, but I know they got the motions.  Haven't heard from the bill collectors, but I know they got at least a partial payment..lol.  They haven't turned the lights off yet so at least thats getting paid.  The truck is about to crap out, if I don't get new tires soon I think its just gonna stop working completely.  I guess its a good reason to take the bus.

Could this month get any worse?

I'm posting from my broken iPhone so this probably won't sound very good.

Its been a hell of a month and its not going to be getting better any time soon.  I never understood how a person could let life get them down.  I don't understand depression or how it attacks a person.  The hoplessness, pain, misery caused by whatever a person is feeling was something I took for granted because I didn't think anything could get that bad for me.  Well, In retrospect, I was just foolinf myself, because things are so bad right now that I can't focus.

I suppose its good to write about these things, so I'll start with the basics.  First my ex-wife is a selfish cheating money grubbing whore.  I think everybody knows that.  She sued me for more child support, and won.  Big.  So now, instead of paying the bills, planning for vacation, spending time with my kids,  I have to live paycheck to paycheck.  I know, thats not new for some people.  I guess what burns me isn't that she gets more of my money, I kinda suspected that was going to happen.  What bothers me is that there is no support out there from the government that I sacrificed for.  No fathers rights organizations, no judges, no family services, that will say, "Hey, that slut is deserves what she got!"  Thats not gonna happen.  So I am left to think about how she will spend my hard earned dollars while I search the couch for spare change.

We will see what tomorrow brings, I am sure it will be entertaining.  I'm also pretty sure it won;t be a good thing.

Time to start something!

Well, I finally started writing for real.  I have this concept for a book, and I have been tossing it around in my head for the last two weeks.   I have names, places, faces and a broad storyline semi-drafted, so I have recently started putting the pieces together and hopefully I will have something that is readable soon.  I don't know though.  I mean, thank God for spellchecker, otherwise I wouldn't even be able to read it

Been a while

I kind of forgot about this blog, and im pretty sure nobody is following it so I suppose it will give me a chance to freelance and write some stuff.  More on that later. 

So what have I been up to since?  Well, working, paying the bills, trying to stay above it all I suppose.  Thinking about writing a book, thinking about going back to school, thinking about my kids, my wife, and doing nothing about it.  Its been a tough summer but its getting better. 

Be back soon.

I guess the old boys are on the street!

I was surfing the net from the safety of my new office, and I found this article from www.shaneclapper.com. Not exactly sure, but I think he is an author.



FORWARD OPERATING BASE LOYALTY — For Iraqi national police officers and Iraqi army soldiers, conducting cordon and search missions is nothing new. When it comes to planning, coordinating and conducting such an operation without U.S. Soldiers leading the way however, it is history in the making. And so it was June 10, when 10 companies of national policemen and Iraqi army soldiers conducted a combined search for militants and their weapons in the Beladiyat area of eastern Baghdad. Policemen from 1st and 2nd National Police Divisions and soldiers from 9th Iraqi army division confiscated scores of weapons and detained several suspects. Additionally, Iraqi police officers performed vehicle inspections and tag verifications to support the operation in Muhalla 740.

“This was the first Iraqi security forces-led joint operation in 9 Nissan that was fully planned and executed by the national police,” explained Maj. Chris Desasso, a Springfield, Mass. Native, who serves as team chief of 8th Brigade, 2nd Division National Police Transition Team. “Brig. Gen. Ali requested the task organization (units and troop strengths) and Maj. Gen. Abud approved it. (For us), this is tactical over watch in action.”

The operation netted 62 AK-47 rifles, six Simonov rifles, four pistols and two artillery rounds rigged to become improvised explosive devices. National Policemen detained 23 suspects, one of whom is a militant the Government of Iraq wanted for “crimes against the Iraqi people,” to include emplacing roadside bombs, murdering innocent Iraqis and conducting rocket and mortar attacks, explained Sgt. 1st Class John Kell, a Montgomery, Texas, native.

“This was (conducted) all on their own. No coalition forces found these items or did any searches,” emphasized Kell, the operations non-commissioned officer for 8th Bde., 2nd Div., NPTT, who claims Lima, Ohio, as home. “It was all Iraqi security forces, (and) it was very impressive.”

Kell explained the operation was “from beginning to end, absolutely” an all Iraqi security forces mission with no directions or directives from the Soldiers of 2nd Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment or 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light), Multi-National Division – Baghdad. Individual national police battalions have entered muhallas to conduct limited searches before the history making operation but never for a joint operation without U.S. forces leading the way, he said.

The cordon and search mission was based solely on intelligence Iraqi security forces officials collected, said Capt. Bryce Halverson, an intelligence trainer from Hartselle, Ala. assigned to the 8th Bde., 2nd Div. NPTT. The national police developed a list of targets they wanted to detain, and they successfully completed that mission. Two of the targeted and captured militants were responsible for attacks on an Iraqi Army checkpoint resulting in five IA soldier deaths during a recent uprising.

“When they are able to put together their own target packets and their own target lists and go out and successfully capture these individuals, which in turn leads to more individuals, I think success breeds success,” commented Halverson. “They will continue to work together.

“I think it went very well. It’s the first time (Iraqi national police) have gone on their own and put together a joint mission with the Iraqi army.”

Iraqi security forces are definitely on the right path for continued success, said Kell. He cited recent successful missions in Basra, Sadr City and numerous on going missions in 9 Nissan.

“For this one to be a totally independent mission, without any help from us whatsoever, is pretty impressive. I think if they keep going on this patch, there will be less need for coalition forces to back them up,” commented Kell. “It’s going to boost the confidence in the people and the Iraqi government.

“This is the endstate (end result), which we are here (to accomplish) as transition teams (and) trainers: … to train them to be able to do what they have to do so they can do it all on their own.”

Halverson said he also feels Iraqi citizens have increased confidence in Iraqi security forces when they see the forces taking the lead or conducting operations on their own.

“When we go out with the national police and they conduct business like this, the people see Iraqi security forces out conducting these missions, in the lead, protecting them, taking the criminal elements off the streets, getting the weapons and improvised explosive devices off the street,” said Halverson. It does nothing but boost the confidence of the local people in their own security forces.

“Sure, there are small elements of American transition teams out there, but they are there to advise their counterparts. They are not conducting searches or detentions. They are almost in a tactical over watch advising.”

Both Halverson and Kell were deployed in Iraq during 2003 and 2004. The Iraqi national policemen and Iraqi army soldiers have a greater sense of pride now than they did then, said Kell. Seeing INPs continue to do their jobs even though their families have been threatened, or even killed in some cases, greatly impresses him.

“These guys, with very little pay, very little benefits, are still out there doing their job – and I’m pretty proud of that,” said Kell. “To see it now, it gives me hope that some day, we can possibly all go home, and Iraq can defend itself and take care of its own people.”

A New Phase

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- An Iraqi police brigade is being pulled off the streets of Baghdad because of its apparent complicity with death squads, according to a U.S. military spokesman.
The Ministry of Interior announced a recall of the 8th Brigade, 2nd National Police, said U.S. Maj. Gen. William Caldwell.

The brigade was pulled after a brazen kidnapping of 24 people on Sunday. Some Sunnis blamed Shiite death squads and criticized Iraqi security forces.

There is "clear evidence that there was some complicity in allowing death squad elements to move freely when, in fact, they were supposed to have been impeding their movement; that perhaps they did not respond as rapidly when reports were made," Caldwell said.

The brigade police officers "had not put their full allegiance commitment behind the government of Iraq," and instead, aligned with "some other elements outside" of the national police, he said.
The government lost "trust and confidence" in the unit because of "poor performances" and "alleged criminal wrongdoings," said Caldwell.

The brigade will get "anti-militia, anti-sectarian violence, and national unity training, both at the unit level and at the individual level," he said.


Well, what can I say? The Iraqi units I trained used the skills and training we provided to kill possibly hundreds of innocent people. So much for anything good comming from this tour..

Running Out of Time

Timing is everything. Thats what they advertise. If you don't take advantage of the opportunity, then you will miss something important. Out here, timing is the difference between life and death. For both sides.

2 minutes, thats what I am talking about. 2 lousy minutes.

We were cruising through a downtown street, patrolling the southern sector with our Iraqi's. The streets are filthy, but there is a breeze in the air, and a slight cold one at that. The furious heat of the summer has abated, and the season that we all wished would come has finally arrived. We stop for 2 minutes, just to adjust our gear and get a grasp of the situation. As I sit in the turret, scanning for the usual round of snipers, car bombs, and troublemakers, I hear a volley of machinegun fire. Its pretty close, so I call out on the radio and we proceed to where we think its comming from. It turns out that the fight was along our area anyways, so it was pretty quick to find.

Rolling up, there is a Toyota van sitting on the road, windows blown out and smoke pouring from the engine. As we approach, the airs smells of carbon. We scan the area for people, but the street is empty. The cool breeze turns toward us, and we catch the sickening, sweet smell of burning flesh. Looking at the van from a distance, we see two bodies slumped over. Another round of bodies. Its going to be a long day.

We dismount quickly, in order to take stock and try to get the Police to come out and clean this up. We are on the ground for maybe 2 minutes total, still trying to get the a response from the radio, when more rounds go off, south and west of us. They are close, and we move as fast as we can with 50 pounds of gear on us. We head south trying to get through the traffic and debris on the street, hoping we can get to the scene before anything bad happens. We arrive at the scene, and there is a bunch of people screaming and crying in front of a building. They are dressed up, so this can't be good. We secure the street area, and go in.

Inside, there is complete chaos. Tables turned over, food everywhere, chairs strewn all over. At the far end of the room, 20 or 30 people are screaming and crying, the noise in the room sounds like the wind in a hurricane. Its so loud inside, almost deafening. They are crowded around two bodies lying on the floor. I move to inspect them quickly, and as I come to terms with what I am looking at, something pops into my head that, at the moment I didn't understand, but now, in reflection, its clear to me.

There are times in our lives that we cherish above all else. Times that define us as truly human. The birth of a child, graduating from school, getting our first paycheck, buying our first car. These moments make us part of a larger world, as we realize our independence, our sacrifice, and our ability to give of ourselves something to the world that is special, important, or significant. We live for those moments, we dream about them, and yet we take for granted that what we have is somehow normal in the course of our lives. We live to watch our children play, grow up, and enter society. We dream about a good job and everything that our money will provide. I think people that miss those opportunities have something missing in their lives. Maybe it makes you a little bit cynical, maybe a little less emotional. Some things in life should not be missed or taken for granted.

I was looking down at the bodies of a man and woman. She wore a white wedding gown, now bloodstained with crimson. He was dressed in a suit; clean cut, but with blood splattered over his face and shirt. They died getting married. They were still holding hands.

What I realized at that moment is that they have passed beyond reason. The militias here are going to do whatever they want, whenever they want, until we are gone, or everybody they hate is dead. There is no winning this war anymore, not in the sense that we understand it. We don't understand that these people hate for no other reason than hate is the only thing that these people know. Our lives are surrounded by those things that make us good, while these people are surrounded by nothing but destruction and persecution. Nothing good can come from it, but they don't seem to want anything else but to kill. I don't even know what it is they want anymore, except to rule by fear and terror.

What I came to understand that moment, is that I really don't feel anything. I can't remember anything good anymore. I can't recall what it was like to hug my children, hear them laugh. I can't remember my first paycheck, my first car. Am I losing my humanity? Am I becoming like them? I hope not, I pray that I am not, because there is so much more to live for than just watching a world gone mad.

Somebody is yelling at me, in broken English. I look at him quckly, and he is frantic. I call the interpreter, and through fits of crying and screaming, he tells me, "He is the father of the bride. He wants to know where you Americans were. They were here, just two minutes ago. How come you are not here when we need you? Why do you not come..?

I look at him, and have no answers. I just walk out of the room, into the sunlight. I feel the heat on my face, feel the sweat on my cheeks, and turn to the east. Somewhere down the street is the sounds of gunfire...

Side note. All told, there were 16 bodies found in the area this day. Most were killed within 10 minutes of forces being on scene. Most were Sunni, all except 1 were male. 10 of the bodies had signs of torture. 1 was about 15. We found 8 of them..

My list of things to do

Its September, and as the summer ends, we turn to thought of going home. These are my top twenty things to do when I get there.

1. I want to go to DISNEYLAND!!

2. I want to to go the mall and walk around, listen to people speaking English, and not have to wear full body armor.

3. I want to kiss my girlfriend, hold her hand, and listen to her speak.

4. I want to drive my truck and not have to dodge tires on the side of the road.

5. I want to eat a burger and not have to guess where the meat came from.

6. I want to sit on the couch and not get splinters, or have to balance myself so I don't fall over.

7. I want to use the internet and not have it take 20 minutes to download 1 photo.

8. I want to go to a 7-11 and get a fountain drink, and not have to worry about kind of water was used to make the ice.

9. I want to go to bed with the power on, and wake up with the power still on.

10. I want to take a shower and not be concerned with water going off, being cold, or being polluted.

11. I want to hug my children.

12. I want to talk on the phone and not have it cut out because I only have 1 minute left on my calling card.

13. I want it to not be 130 degrees.

14. I want to remember what it felt like to live in America, to be free, sing the National Anthem, and to love every moment of my life.

15. I want a Dodger Dog! (who doesn't want that??)

16. I want to see a black man, a white man, a Mexican, and a Jewish guy talking without having to have bodyguards, yelling about religious indifference, and calling each other infidels.

17. I want to see my grandparents.

18. I want to vote.

19. I want to go to Best Buy, Home Depot, Krispy Kreme, and Starbucks, and pizza hut all in the same day.

20. I want to somebody to tell me "Welcome Home.."

Slow News Day

I noticed an article in a news clipping. It was a bit dated, but I thought it was interesting and I would share my thoughts. Surprise!! Anyways, it was an article about this group called the Perfect Angelz, and they are this singing, dancing, and burlesque-ing group of ladies that entertained for the troops out here. The article wasn’t so much about the girls themselves, but about the women soldiers’ reaction to the group and their performance. To put it mildly, the women were very upset that the show, featuring scantily clad women parading in front of a bunch of men, was put on by the services. They seemed to think that the show was demeaning towards woman, biased, and insulting, that they should have to be subjected to this.

I looked up the Perfect Angelz on their multitude of websites, and I see from the photos that they have been in Iraq a couple of times, that they entertain at fairs, rallies, and other places, and that the show that they put on for the troops was one of many. While I understand the concern of the female soldiers and I sympathize with them, I have to ask why the military doesn’t put more shows together in the first place. Yes, we have had a few shows here, mostly from Toby Keith, and a few others, but as far as I can recall, I have not seen any big USO type shows, and nothing even resembling the type of morale boosting stuff I saw during the Persian Gulf War. I remember watching Jay Leno and a host of other comedians and entertainers come out to my base, keep us laughing for an hour or so, then sitting down to eat dinner with the guys before moving to another camp. We all know about past USO shows featuring Bob Hope, and anybody who would come, out. Not anymore.

So, has the commitment to American’s men in arms changed? Do we not get to see the likes of Maria Carey, Outkast, or anybody like that entertaining the troops? I would love to see a big show out here, not because we don’t know how American feels about the job we are doing, but because anything that reminds us of the lives we left behind, can’t be a bad thing. Moral is touch and go in a lot of places out here, and it only takes a little to get people re-energized and re-focused on what we are doing. It doesn’t matter if the show is small or big, it would just be nice to see. I would like to believe that politics has nothing to do with peoples support for the guys and girls on the ground. I would like to see people with smiles on their faces, and energy in their step. I hope the guys and girls out here get what they deserve.

The Dog Days of Summer

Days go by

I was navigating our convoy through the city today, looking for bombs and trying not to get us lost, and the thought occurred to me. What the hell am I doing here? I know I have a job to do and I do it the best I can. I understand that I have certain responsibilities, to myself, my family, and my fellow Marines, to get us home safe and sound. I can accept those. My issue is with the war itself. I wonder as I sit here, listening to the calls on the radio, why we don’t fight, why we don’t attack. Where is the will to win? Why are the politicians fighting this war? How are we supposed to win this if we can’t even acknowledge that there is a war going on?

Some friends were listening to an interview on MSNBC, and they swear that, in this interview with Condoleezza Rice, she says that this isn’t war. I didn’t hear it myself, but I wonder; what the hell this is? If we are not at war, then what are we doing? Call it a war on terror, call it a police action, call it whatever you want, but if it looks like a dog and it sounds like a dog, then it’s a dog. Our government spends way too much time debating action and trying to appease the Arab populace. Our bases get attacked almost daily, yet nobody does anything about it. Rockets and mortars, small arms fire, snipers, everybody is trying to kill us, and we have to worry about the rules of engagement before we can fight back. General Patton would be spinning in his grave if he saw the war this war was being fought. If you want to win, you have to destroy the enemy, and nobody wants to do that. We spend day and weeks trying to find the enemy and nobody wants to admit that the enemy is everywhere. Here is an example…

Abu Hassan spends his day in his little shop, selling snacks and sodas, food items and bits of stuff to the local people in his area. He is a small man, about 40, with 4 kids and a wife. He works pretty hard, and makes a decent living. He closes his shop at night, goes to prayer, and listens to the Imam talking about killing the infidels, avenging the dead, or becoming a martyr. Abu Hassan goes home; his head full of mystical sayings pulls his AK-47 out of the closet, puts on his night clothes. He goes out to the end of the street, waits for the nearest American convoy, shoots 5 rounds at them, and then ducks back down the alley and out of sight. He meets up with 4 other Shia friends, and the drive three blocks over. The see a bunch of Sunni men sitting in front of a store, and immediately start shooting. He then has his friends take him home, where he puts his rifle back under his bed, kisses his wife and kids good night, then goes to bed.

The enemy is everywhere, and we have seen him day after day. The guy standing on the street corner, counting American patrols. The taxi cab driver, who follows them at a distance to get the spacing between vehicles, The kid selling black market gasoline on the side of the freeway, whose job is to call in large vehicles. The woman tending to her sheep, the local guy who works on the base, the street sweeper, the farmer; all of them. You can’t beat them by appealing to them. You can’t win them over by providing jobs, schools, and goods. You can’t pacify them by creating a democracy, holding elections, and declaring the end of major combat. You can only win by crushing them. You can beat the militia’s, the Hezbollah’s, the Mahdi Army’s, by finishing this war, killing every person who takes up arms against you, and making the survivors understand that might makes right, and we do have the strength to back it up.

In 1944 and 1945, we defeated Germany and Japan by crushing them into submission. We made them surrender, and we killed those who refused to. By doing so, we created a platform to build on, and we helped build those nations into what we see today. Unfortunately, that was the last time we ever beat anybody. Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq I and II. We spent more time trying to win hearts and minds, and not enough ass kicking. We could crush the resistance in this country, and then there would be no more problems. Not only that, but Iran, Syria, Jordan, would think twice before ever raising a hand against us, and that would give this nation a foundation to succeed. But no, we can’t do that, because our politicians think that spending billions of dollars on projects the Iraqi’s themselves destroy, is a much better way to nation build. We fight the war on CNN and Hardcopy, not on the streets of Ramadi or Sadr City.

In Ramadi, Marines are dying every day, because somebody doesn’t want to take control of the city. They would rather the Marines create pockets or protection, then hopefully peace will spread its wings and people will see that fighting is just wrong, drop their weapons, and take up knitting. In another age, we would have carpet bombed Ramadi into pebbles. Newsweek commented that this type of fighting; this”corporate warfare” is the newest type of combat. Fighting not a nation, but terrorists required a whole different type of military might. I would agree with that, but when the terrorists are everywhere, when you know where they are and who they are, you must be able to take the fight to them. If you don’t do that, because you may hit some quasi-innocent women or bystanders, then you surrender the advantage to the enemy, and you give him the ability to decide the outcome of the battle. He can predict your movements, and control them so that he has the upper hand. Sure he is shooting at us, but he is surrounded by a bunch of women, so we can’t shoot back. He is shooting from a mosque. Oh sinner, how could he do that, but we can’t shoot back.

We are not going to win here, as long as our elected officials refuse to win. We are not going to win as long as we play by the modern rules. We are not going to win, as long as we try to make friends before we kill enemies. Americans are going to continue to die in Iraq and Afghanistan and every other place, as long as we allow the politician-general to make the decisions. FDR where are you???

So, as we race down streets filled with people, I look out and wonder which one of the cars on the side of the road is going to explode. My eyes dart from person to person, trying to identify the one who is going to race out into the street and pull the pin on his suicide vest. We turn left, and the street is empty. Bad sign, when nobody is around. I grip my weapon a little closer, waiting for the blast to hit us. We travel down the street quickly, waiting, looking, searching and praying. Shadows behind a wall, a large tire in the middle of the road. Trash burning in the center of the street. Is that the signal to start the ambush? We scan for snipers, check our systems, flip safeties off the weapons. Look left, swerve right, stay away from that debris, I think I see wires. We turn right and its back out into the busy market. I hear sighs of relief, silent prayers, weapon safeties click on, and everybody relaxes a bit.

Why am I here?

Because someone forgot that war is hell, and there was nobody around to remind them…

My cut on things

I Object
Why do did I post this article, without putting my thoughts on it? Well, I really had to think about it first, to put some thoughts together. Now that I have them, I suppose I should day something.

First off, Lt Watada should be shipped directly into Iraq. If you join the military, you have a pretty good idea why you joined, and what it was going to be all about. It’s no secret that the Army’s main purpose is to defend the country and fight wars. I mean, any kid playing soldier, any student studying WWII, anybody with a TV will have that basic knowledge. The idea that freedom isn’t free is something we understand as a child. Lt Watada is probably a good guy, and a good officer, but that oath that you take as an officer, as a soldier, directs you to follow orders given to you by your superiors, not follow orders as you see fit. By refusing to go to Iraq, Lt Watada has let down his entire platoon and all of his men that would serve with him. He has proven that he will allow his beliefs, political or otherwise, cloud his judgment and make him ineffective when his men need him the most. To say I won’t go, after all of his men are going, is like a baseball player taking his 12 million a year, and refusing to play. The problem is that this is not a game, and I feel sorry for the men that Mr. Watada decided he is too good to serve with. I know this may sound callous, but that’s too bad. Lt Watada is a coward, not for saying what he believes, but for abandoning the people who need him the most.

What I find equally distasteful, is that Mr. Watada chose to use the press as his platform to get his beliefs out. Maybe, by getting his side of the story into the papers and on TV, he can arouse sympathy from people like Mrs. Sheehan or others, to fight for his cause and make such a noise that the Army will have no choice but to discharge him, or face the wrath of hundreds of anti-war supporters. So, he lets the press get the story first, makes them comfortable, shows how effective he is, and generally makes him look good. The picture in the paper, which I did not include, show Mr. Watada sitting in his living room, in regular clothes, seemingly in despair over his choice. What they should show and comment on are pictures and comments from the men at the front. The ones Mr. Watada chose to abandon. The soldiers in full gear, living and fighting. Maybe they should interview one of two of Mr. Watada’s platoon members, and see what they think. Maybe then, Mr. Watada would understand that having the courage to do the right thing sometimes has a cost, and that cost is not borne by Mr. Watada alone.

I hope that Mr. Watada’s men come safely. I wouldn’t be able to handle the guilt if one of my men got killed doing something that I was supposed to do, because I was too afraid to do it myself. But then, Maybe Mr. Watada doesn’t care at all. So ship him to the front line, let him object all he wants, but he can do it behind a rifle. Then, Mr. Watada can get out of the Army, and write a book about how he was treated, sell it to a movie studio, and laugh about it all the way to the bank. But until then, move out soldier…

An Insult to Our Men and Women

Officer Faces Court-Martial for Refusing to Deploy to Iraq



By JOHN KIFNER and TIMOTHY EGAN
Published: July 23, 2006
SEATTLE — When First Lt. Ehren K. Watada of the Army shipped out for a tour of duty in South Korea two years ago, he was a promising young officer rated among the best by his superiors. Like many young men after Sept. 11, he had volunteered “out of a desire to protect our country,” he said, even paying $800 for a medical test to prove he qualified despite childhood asthma.

Now Lieutenant Watada, 28, is working behind a desk at Fort Lewis just south of Seattle, one of only a handful of Army officers who have refused to serve in Iraq, an Army spokesman said, and apparently the first facing the prospect of a court-martial for doing so.
“I was still willing to go until I started reading,” Lieutenant Watada said in an interview one recent evening.
A long and deliberate buildup led to Lieutenant Watada’s decision to refuse deployment to Iraq. He reached out to antiwar groups, and they, in turn, embraced his cause, raising money for his legal defense, selling posters and T-shirts, and circulating a petition on his behalf.
Critics say the lieutenant’s move is an orchestrated act of defiance that will cause chaos in the military if repeated by others. But Lieutenant Watada said he arrived at his decision after much soul-searching and research.
On Jan. 25, “with deep regret,” he delivered a passionate two-page letter to his brigade commander, Col. Stephen J. Townsend, asking to resign his commission. “Simply put, I am wholeheartedly opposed to the continued war in Iraq, the deception used to wage this war, and the lawlessness that has pervaded every aspect of our civilian leadership,” Lieutenant Watada wrote.
At 2:30 a.m. on June 22, when the Third Stryker Brigade of the Second Infantry Division set off for Iraq, Lieutenant Watada was not on the plane. He has since been charged under the Uniform Code of Military Justice with one count of missing movement, for not deploying, two counts of contempt toward officials and three counts of conduct unbecoming an officer.
Lieutenant Watada’s about-face came as a shock to his parents, his fellow soldiers and his superiors. In retrospect, though, there may have been one ominous note in the praise heaped on him in his various military fitness reports: he was cited as having an “insatiable appetite for knowledge.”
Lieutenant Watada said that when he reported to Fort Lewis in June 2005, in preparation for deployment to Iraq, he was beginning to have doubts. “I was still prepared to go, still willing to go to Iraq,” he said. “I thought it was my responsibility to learn about the present situation. At that time, I never conceived our government would deceive the Army or deceive the people.”
He was not asking for leave as a conscientious objector, Lieutenant Watada said, a status assigned to those who oppose all military service because of moral objections to war. It was only the Iraq war that he said he opposed.
Military historians say it is rare in the era of the all-voluntary Army for officers to do what Lieutenant Watada has done.
“Certainly it’s far from unusual in the annals of war for this to happen,” said Michael E. O’Hanlon, a senior fellow in military affairs at the Brookings Institution. “But it is pretty obscure since the draft ended.”
Mr. O’Hanlon said that if other officers followed suit, it would be nearly impossible to run the military. “The idea that any individual officer can decide which war to fight doesn’t really pass the common-sense test,” he said.
Lieutenant Watada conceded that the military could not function if individual members decided which war was just. But, he wrote to Colonel Townsend, he owed his allegiance to a “higher power” — the Constitution — based on the values the Army had taught him: “loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity and personal courage.”
“Please allow me to leave the Army with honor and dignity,” he concluded.
Lieutenant Watada said he began his self-tutorial about the Iraq war with James Bamford’s book “A Pretext for War,” which argues that the war in Iraq was driven by a small group of neoconservative civilians in the Pentagon and their allies in policy institutes. The book suggests that intelligence was twisted to justify the toppling of Saddam Hussein, with the goal of fundamentally changing the Middle East to the benefit of Israel.
Next was “Chain of Command,” by Seymour M. Hersh, about the Abu Ghraib prison scandal. After that, Lieutenant Watada moved on to other publications on war-related themes, including selections on the treatment of prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, and the so-called Downing Street memo, in which the British chief of intelligence told Prime Minister Tony Blair in July 2002 that the Americans saw war in Iraq as “inevitable” and that “the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy.”
Lieutenant Watada said he also talked to soldiers returning to Fort Lewis from Iraq, including a staff sergeant who told him that he and his men had probably committed war crimes.
“When I learned the awful truth that we had been deceived — I was shocked and disgusted,” he wrote in the letter to his brigade commander.
There were efforts to work things out, Lieutenant Watada said. The Army offered him a staff job in Iraq that would have kept him out of combat; but combat was not the point, he said.
Lieutenant Watada said he had volunteered to serve in Afghanistan, which he regarded as an unambiguous war linked to the Sept. 11 attacks. The request was denied.
In public statements, Army officials warned Lieutenant Watada that he was facing “adverse action” in the days leading up to his decision to refuse to go to Iraq. Charges were filed only after he showed insubordination, they said; his insubordination included giving interviews.
“This was a call of his commander, after he decided that Lieutenant Watada’s action required these charges,” said Joe Hitt, a Fort Lewis spokesman.
When Lieutenant Watada’s mother, Carolyn Ho, learned of his decision, she was caught off guard, she said. Her son, an Eagle Scout who grew up in Hawaii, had always admired the Army.
“I tried to talk him out of it,” Ms. Ho said. “I just saw his career going down the drain. It took me awhile to get through this.”
Now, she said, “I honor and respect his decision.”
Two officers who served with Lieutenant Watada in South Korea also voiced support for him in telephone interviews arranged by Lieutenant Watada, though they made it clear they did not share his views on Iraq.
“He was a good officer, always very professional,” said one of the officers, Capt. Scott Hulin. “I personally disagree with his opinion and his stance against the war. But I personally support his stand as a man, to be able to do what his heart is telling him.”
A former roommate of Lieutenant Watada, First Lt. Bernard West, offered similar remarks.
Lieutenant Watada had two assignments in South Korea. One was as the executive officer of the headquarters battery, the other as a platoon leader of a unit of multiple-launch rockets. His evaluations were glowing.
“Exemplary,” said his executive officer fitness report, which Lieutenant Watada provided to a reporter. “Tremendous potential for positions of increased responsibility. He has the potential to command with distinction. Promote ahead of his peers.”
His evaluation as a platoon leader also called him “exemplary” and said he had “unlimited potential.”
Under the military system, the charges against Lieutenant Watada will be reviewed in an Article 32 hearing, the rough equivalent of a grand jury hearing. If there is a court-martial hearing, it will probably come in the fall; the maximum penalty would be a dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of pay and seven years in prison, according to a news release from Fort Lewis.
A spokesman for the Army, Paul Boyce, said that as far as he knew, Lieutenant Watada would be the first Army officer to be court-martialed for refusing to go to Iraq.

The longest Yard

A few years ago, I was part of a convoy transporting Iraqi soldiers to a camp called Ferrin Huggins. On the way to this camp, we (the Advisors I was working with) had to cross a crowded, jammed up bridge. Since we were not driving military vehicles, My boss at the time (aka The Duc) decided that, since the Iraqi people wouldn’t respond to our endless honking of horns (everybody lays on their horns here) that he would get out and run ahead of the convoy, moving cars along the way. It was about mid July, and easily 110 degrees, but we weathered on, across about a mile of jammed traffic. The bridge itself is the east/west entrance into Southern Baghdad, and crosses the Tigress River. It is 3 lanes on each side, and is about 100 feet or more to the water. From the top, there is a commanding view of Baghdad, to the north, and the river as it moves south on its way to the Persian Gulf.

Since I was the driver, I watched as the Duc and a group of Iraqi’s ran back and forth, up the bridge and down, moving cars and watching for potential enemy. It was slow and plodding movement, and it took the better part of an hour to cross the span. As we weaved in and out of the traffic, vigilant for a possible attack, I thought to myself how utterly ridiculous this is, and never in my life would I ever see something so dangerous and incredibly funny.

I was wrong.

Today it was easily 115 degrees, and we were moving from one camp to another, along the road to our home camp. As you know, the violence here has been contrasting, going from good to bad in a split second. Apparently the government (if you can call it that) had instituted some curfew that I hadn’t heard about, and the cars on the road were dead stopped. We needed to get through, and it was not going to get any faster since the cars just didn’t have much room to move. I looked around at the area and in the back of my mind, I sort of knew where I was, but couldn’t identify it. Looking at the traffic ahead, we pretty much realized that unless we moved the cars, it was going to be a very long afternoon.

So, rifle in hand, I set out running ahead of our convoy. Approaching cars, I looked in all directions, banged on the hoods and roofs, and got drivers to move over so we could get through. The heat as we moved slowly over the river was intense, and I had to make multiple trips back and forth to the trucks to get water. I moved up and down, three Iraqi’s in tow, moving trucks and cars and bikes and people. The citizens were everywhere, sitting on the road, sitting on the cars, lying under the trucks. Sometimes it took a few minutes to find out who the driver was, and then it took a lot of energy just to get them to do what I needed.

Slowly, we made our way across the bridge to the Iraqi Checkpoint that was stopping the cars. About an hour or so had passed, and I was barely functioning at that point. As I made my way back to the vehicle, it dawned on me where we were and what had just happened. As I got back into my truck, I looked at my driver, who was staring at me and laughing. I asked what the hell was so funny, as I guzzled water like a hippo. He said, “That was the funniest shit I ever saw. You would never get me to do that.”

I looked at him and was going to say something, but left it alone. Some things are better left to the memory and the experience. And there is always next time...

Just another afternoon

Well, it’s been 72 of the busiest hours I have ever seen out here. The town has pretty much erupted. It’s like a shootout at the OK corral out here, with people blasting away from every corner and every angle. The wind and the heat are furious, and from every direction you can hear the snap of a round or two passing close by my head. Strangely enough, we seem to be blessed and have avoided pretty much the whole thing. It’s not us that they want to kill, its each other. And no matter how hard we try how hard we always seem to be just a few minutes to late.

I can’t help but feel defeated. I think the level of violence is on everybody’s mind. We try so hard to train them soldiers to deal with it, to react to it, to try and identify possible trouble and stop it, but it’s all around them and it gets harder and harder every day to keep the charade going. I know I sound like maybe I have given up, but it gets to me. I want everybody to leave here with the thought that they did the right thing, for the right reasons. Not for politics, or WMD, or anything as profound as that. I want us to leave here believing in what we have accomplished; that we did something good for this country, and for the world. But I am surrounded by a sea of bodies, and we are just floating on the surface, getting pushed by the tides.

There is no solution anymore, from what I can see. The killings will go on until there is nobody left but us.