New Job, New Beginnings

So it has been a long while since I blogged, but I am going to restart this and see how it goes.  Ill summarize later, but tomorrow (Wednesday) is my first full day a substitute, and for some reason I chose to sub High School PE class. For the girls volleyball coach. 

(Silence)

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.

More to follow.

New blog activity

Well it has been quite a while since I wrote anything here, because I have been tryingto figure out exacly what I wanted to do with this thing. Well, I haven’t gotten it all figured out yet but I have an idea. I thought about this when Deanna and I went to a restaurant called AnQi. Its at the Bloomingdales at South Coast Plaze. Terrific food, a little pricey, but the service was great. Anyway, I was thinking, why not blog about the places we go as a couple? We eat out a bit, drink out a bit, do a lot of things together. So I think thats gonna be what I blog about.
So, here goes. We are going to blog about couple things and ces we go and things we do. Restaurant reviews, movie reviews, store reviews. Wherever life seems to take us. Pictures if possible, life in general. It might not be exciting, but for the reader who isn’t in to stars, thumbs up, or A ratings, and just wants to know, was it a nice place, was it fun, would I like to go there with my significant other, well this will be the place to come.

More to follow!

2011

Here is to hoping 2011 is better than 2010.  Im pretty sure it can't get worse, so lets begin!

1.  I need to drink less often.  Not less, just less often.

2.  I need to get out of debt.  I guess that means I need to stop spending so much too.

3.  I need to spend more time with my kids. 

4.  I will try to work out more.  1 time is more than I did this year.  I can do that.

5.  Pay off the truck.  It could happen.

6.  Visit my relatives on my fathers side.

7.  Make the Advisor reunion this year.  Probably in Vegas.  There goes the first resolution....

Thats about it for the moment.  Happy New Year!

Time flies

Well its almost Christmas.  I'm sitting here trying to think of all the good and bad things that happened this year, and I really can't seem to get over the fact that tomorrow is my grandmother's funeral.  I suppose whatever good or bad thing happened to me, it kind of pales in comparison.  I mean, she had been slowly dying for the past two years, but the loss is still truly disheartening to me.

I spend the last couple of days at my grandfather's house, and its even difficult to call it my grandfather's house.  We always referred to it as "Oma and Opas" and now, to say that is almost like cursing; you catch yourself saying it and before you realize it your all hushed, like you swore in church.  Its difficult to watch my grandfather now, you can see the sadness in him.  65 years they were married.  He talked about the Japanese and how they lived in a concentration camp, talked about going to Holland after the war, coming to America.  Always he referred to him and Ma, like she was in the other room.

I miss her a lot more than I thought, I suppose.  She was there for every event in my life.  Going to Boot Camp, returning from Iraq all those times, getting married, having children, holidays, parties, everything.  She got to see her great granddaughter though, and that was something special.  Like she knew it was time, but she still was holding out for that last bit of family.  The image in my mind; I can see her smile as she looks at the baby, kisses her on the forehead, says a couple of quiet words, and I know she finally decided she was ready to go. 

So, as I watch my grandfather, I think about her and the life they had together.  I think about how much they loved each other, and how after all this time he loves her more now then before.   I hope after 65 years I love my wife half as much.  That would be something.  Maybe, if I could learn to love my wife the way he loved his, I could possibly be half the man he was.  That's a tall order.

Goodnight Oma.  Say hello to my dad for me.

So I was watching the Windows Phone 7 launch this morning.  Interesting stuff.  I have to say I like how everything seems to be seamlessly integrated into the other, and I love the fact that Windows Office is almost fully integrated into the device.  Since I use it so much at work and at home, its nice to get what I need any place, any time.  I am, however, a little concerned.    Not at the phones, or the technology. or the hype or the ads.  No, what I'm curious about is......why the hell did I just watch that?  2 hours of banter about a phone?  WTF was that all about?

Its Monday morning and I have the day off, so how come I'm not hung over, still in bed trying to wake up, dirty from doing the pub crawl into the wee hours of the morning, and wondering how I got my shoes off?  Why am I sitting here at 7 in the morning, on my third cup of coffee, tweeting and posting for no apparent reason because a company released a phone?  (A rather cool one, but still just a phone.)  Its a three day weekend, so how come I am sitting here instead of on a boat, on the river, with two beers in my hands and the sun on my back?

Why?

I need to get out more.  I need to get out of the house and into the real world.  I think, for maybe a little to long, I have been entranced by the electronic wizardry of our modern world, and not so much of the modern world itself.  The past week I have been working mostly outdoors, and I realized how much I like being outside.  I used to love being in the field, hiking the hills.  I saw the sunrise from the range on Friday, and I remembered how much I used to love being outside at the crack of dawn. 

My morning routine is kind of drab.  Make coffee, read LA Times, NY Times, MSNBC, CNN, Engadget, CNET, and the Early Bird.  Make mobile coffee, sift emails, answer texts, get dressed, go to work.  Afternoons, same thing.  Evenings, come home, same thing.

Maybe its time to rethink my habits.  Maybe its time to watch the game from the stadium, and not the TV.  Maybe its time to ride the bike to work, and not just walk past it every morning and promise myself "tomorrow."  Maybe I need to put down the phone and get back into the life I enjoyed.

So I think I will commit to that.  PT more often.  Get some exercise.  Go hiking.  Go looking.  Go someplace.  Do something.

Of course, I'll start tomorrow.  Today is my day off.....

Just browsing...

Jeez its hot.  It hasn't been this hot in a year of so, since I think when we moved into this condo.  I really wonder why we moved in here knowing that there wasn't A/C. 

Well we got ID thieved again. Sucks.  Good thing I surf the bank so often, I think the guy was taking the money while we were on the phone with the bank.  I am pretty sure it wasn't random either.  1 time, thats random, but 2 times, our card info is out there someplace.  I'm just lucky that we are broke, so there wasn't to much to take.  Maybe thats the upside of being on the downside of this economy. 

We actually had dinner at the table today.  Kinda liked that.  I miss that alot, I remember when I lived in Corona we used to have dinner at the table almost every night.  Its one of those things, I suppose, that you look back on as family time.  Well, we discussed doing it more often, but I suppose it all comes from just being in the house all at the same time.  That doesn't happen to often.  Kids are getting to old to fast.

Its way to hot to write, so I'll catch up later...

Whirlwinds Ahead!

These past few days have really been pretty amazing.

By now you know I got the job offer!  Its been pretty exciting, for sure.  I told my current work that I was, well, I said to my boss, "Hey, lets talk about that XXX position."  He says, well, I don't know where we are gonna put him, and we don't have to do anything thats XXX responsibility.  "Well"  I tell him, "that XXX is me." 

Well, he was a little suprised, but not shocked.  I suppose he knows that if the government that I work for isn't going to pay people well, then the government is going to lose people.  So, whats done is done.

So people have been comming by my area congratulating me all day, which is kind of wierd, because most days nobody talks to me unless I talk first.  Well, Im not a loner, I just work in the back area and there isn't a whole lot of people that come around anyways.

What do I say?  I have worked for the government for 20+ years, and I was thinking that I will have to wear dress shoes to work for the first time....

Hurray us!!

Well just when I thought it couldn't get better, it did.  God is good and his mercy endures forever.  It doesn't get more real life than this day.

We had a family meeting the night before, trying to decide if we should cancel the cable service.  Tough meeting because its more than just canceling cable.  It felt more like acknowledgement that we were not going to make ends meet anymore.  Before then, we always seemed kind of impervious to disaster.  No mattter what happened, we always seemed to get lucky or things turned our way.  Not this time.  We were finally slipping into the poor zone, and there was no way out.  We had cut through our savings, used all of our retirement funds, and the bills that we HAD to pay we had no more money for.  I forgot what it was like to look into the eyes of dispair, but if I had, I know I would have seen my reflection.

I had, earlier in the morning, stopped at an ATT store to pay the bill, and realized that if I paid the full bill, I wouldn't be able to pay the cable bill.  No money for allowance.  Groceries were going to be slim.  That really sucked, so I new it was going to be a bad day, seeing as it was only 9:30 in the morning.  So, I paid half the bill, and just decided to go home early. Why stay at work when you can't afford to be there.

I got home, closed the door, went to the kitchen when the doorbell rang.  Looked in the fridge.  Crap, no milk, and no money to buy it.  I though it was my Iphone 4 Case that I ordered 3 months ago and paid for then.  http://www.elementcase.com/  (awesome stuff)  .  Why do I even have this phone?  Its cracked and I can't afford to fix the glass.  The tires on the truck are bald and aren't going to last another month.  The electric bill is due, the IRS took too much money out of the bank, and there is still check out that people haven't cashed. 

Wonderful, it was a letter from FEDEX.   Has to be a motion or another subpoena from MCWEW.  Batting 1000 today.  I noticed it had a Lockheed Martin address.  Well, I figured I lost that job, they were just doing it in writing because they weren't going to waste the time to call.  So I opened it.  I thought, wow this is kinda thick for a rejection letter.  Well, thats not what it was.

Lets just say that God works in mysterious ways, and, just when you think you can't escape, he reminds you that all is not lost.  If you have faith, you will be rewarded.  Maybe it was his reminder that sometimes you have to be humbled to be humble.

I must thank my wife too, who gives me the strength to keep pushing for a better day.  Thanks love...

All things electronic...

OK I promised myself I would fix this site, so this weekend I will.  Pics?  Twitter feed?  I haven't figured it all out yet but Im sure it will work.  I thought about switching to Tumblr, but Im not a 20 something and I take crappy pictures. 

I just got served..again...  More court papers from "MCWEW".  This sucks.  I need to move to Canada, but then with the conversion rate, I would actually be giving her more. 

Nothing

I thing this company that I interviewed for is, well, I hate interviews.  I can probably count on both hands how many interviews I have gone on in my lifetime, since this is only the 5th Job I have ever had.  Still, I know why people hate interviews so much.  If they only asked the questions I would have asked, things would be good..

Sir, do you enjoy working?  Yes I do.

Do you like getting paid?  Yes I do.

Will you steal from us?  No I won't.

Your hired!

Simple stuff like that.  Get your answer before you walk out the door.  Yes, your good, we like you.  No, you suck, you should never have been allowed into the building.

OK if they don't call tomorrow, Im calling them.  Either way I don't want to go into another weekend trying to decide if I want to go to work on Monday..

No results...

Had the interview, but I'm kinda thinking it didn't go so well.  I started out strong, but the interview was on the phone so I found my mind drifting after about 20 minutes.  Its hard to focus on someones voice when you can't see their face, so I found myself playing with the radio stations alot.  Maybe they didn't notice.

I felt after the first couple of minutes that they were looking for somebody who studies Lean Six or something brainiac.  Example, Given a situation where you might not particularly agree with a decision, but understanding that as a service provider we are obligated to provide solutions, how would you work around the deficiencies to complete the project, and give specific examples of when and how you accomplished it.  Yeah, all that in one sentence.  At least it was more coherent than my answer.  I wanted to reach through the phone and choke the guy, yell in his face that I have never failed to complete a project.  But I think I came up with some lame ass answer and left it at that.  It didn't go much better after that. 

Its freaking only Wednesday??  I'll just continue to download tunes on Limewire.  Isn't that legal yet? 

Big day tomorrow?

Well it could be.  I got an interview with Lockheed Martin for a position as the Deputy Regional Manager for the Non-Government Services Contract.  Could be good, Im actually pretty excited.  When I first got the job as a contractor for the Navy, I worked with LM setting up their training for the same contract, so I know most of  the people and did alot of the work already.  Guess we will see how it goes. 

Things are still about as bad as they were a week or so ago.  Haven't heard from the courts, but I know they got the motions.  Haven't heard from the bill collectors, but I know they got at least a partial payment..lol.  They haven't turned the lights off yet so at least thats getting paid.  The truck is about to crap out, if I don't get new tires soon I think its just gonna stop working completely.  I guess its a good reason to take the bus.

Could this month get any worse?

I'm posting from my broken iPhone so this probably won't sound very good.

Its been a hell of a month and its not going to be getting better any time soon.  I never understood how a person could let life get them down.  I don't understand depression or how it attacks a person.  The hoplessness, pain, misery caused by whatever a person is feeling was something I took for granted because I didn't think anything could get that bad for me.  Well, In retrospect, I was just foolinf myself, because things are so bad right now that I can't focus.

I suppose its good to write about these things, so I'll start with the basics.  First my ex-wife is a selfish cheating money grubbing whore.  I think everybody knows that.  She sued me for more child support, and won.  Big.  So now, instead of paying the bills, planning for vacation, spending time with my kids,  I have to live paycheck to paycheck.  I know, thats not new for some people.  I guess what burns me isn't that she gets more of my money, I kinda suspected that was going to happen.  What bothers me is that there is no support out there from the government that I sacrificed for.  No fathers rights organizations, no judges, no family services, that will say, "Hey, that slut is deserves what she got!"  Thats not gonna happen.  So I am left to think about how she will spend my hard earned dollars while I search the couch for spare change.

We will see what tomorrow brings, I am sure it will be entertaining.  I'm also pretty sure it won;t be a good thing.

Time to start something!

Well, I finally started writing for real.  I have this concept for a book, and I have been tossing it around in my head for the last two weeks.   I have names, places, faces and a broad storyline semi-drafted, so I have recently started putting the pieces together and hopefully I will have something that is readable soon.  I don't know though.  I mean, thank God for spellchecker, otherwise I wouldn't even be able to read it

Been a while

I kind of forgot about this blog, and im pretty sure nobody is following it so I suppose it will give me a chance to freelance and write some stuff.  More on that later. 

So what have I been up to since?  Well, working, paying the bills, trying to stay above it all I suppose.  Thinking about writing a book, thinking about going back to school, thinking about my kids, my wife, and doing nothing about it.  Its been a tough summer but its getting better. 

Be back soon.